Sitting in the closet – but I don’t think I’m alone

I’m sitting in the closet.  I’ve been sitting here for a little while.  Every now and then I crack open the door and peer out with one eye to see how things are going.  What I see when I peek out makes me quietly shut the door and sit back down on the floor and keep my mouth shut.

I think we all know someone who has “come out of the closet”.  My closet is a little different than the usual closets you’ve heard of.  Its not a sexual orientation sort of thing.  Fortunately I’m heterosexual.  When I say “fortunately” I don’t mean that its better to be heterosexual.  I mean its just easier being out in the world and being the way the world wants you to be.  The world is changing, even though it may be at a snail’s pace, for my LGBT friends.  A lot of them are open and vocal now, but there was a time when most of them stayed quiet, didn’t want to draw attention to themselves.

In another sense that’s sort of where I’m at now.  Quietly sitting in my closet.  Keeping my mouth shut.  Trying not to rock the boat or just out right shock friends and family.  I’m just sitting here in the closet, minding my own business.  Listening and watching others spout off on their own ideas and assumptions.  Occasionally I stand up, open the door, and venture out a bit.  But then the fear of judgement sets in and I run back into the closet where I’m safe.

While I sit in this closet, my eyes become adjusted to the dark, and I realize that I am not alone.  There is a whole army of us sitting in here.  Some have boldly left the security of the closet and are vocalizing their opinions and beliefs without fear or care of judgement or condemnation.  I try to latch on to more of these types of brave people as I stumble upon them here and there.  Hoping to somehow absorb some of their courageousness.

Courageousness???  Yes, I think it takes great  courage to step up to the podium and vocalize your beliefs and opinions, knowing that you are setting yourself up for attack.  I find a little comfort in looking across the closet and seeing some friends eyes peering back at me.

I test the waters occasionally in a sort of docile, submissive way.  I hope to grow a little bolder and vocal.  I think its possible to be vocal and have an intelligent discussion with people of a different opinion.  But sometimes what I see and hear makes me wonder if its really true.  Sometimes just the question that is asked lets you know what someone thinks of you.

So for the time being I will sit here in my quiet closet and keep myself out of trouble and controversy.   <sigh>

Enter the crazy one

Do you know someone who is a little off their rocker?  Maybe you know a couple of them.  I know I do.  Some of them are friends or family, some are just people you stumble across from time to time.  Like the lady at a Mexican restaurant who came in to pick up a phone in order.  While she was waiting she asked if she could sit with me and share my chips and hot sauce.  I politely declined.  Some are just a little goofy and may be just a little bit entertaining.  Some you’ve “heard” have a little problem, but maybe you’ve never witnessed it yourself.

But of all the crazy you may have witnessed in your lifetime, you have to admit that the hidden crazy is the scariest of all.  You know, that someone, who you had no idea was a little off their rocker.  They appeared to be your average, run of the mill, normal person.  Maybe someone that you considered a “somewhat” close friend.  Someone you trusted and then without warning they jumped right out of their normal accoutrements into “dingbat crazy.”

Well I know two people who are sisters.  One seems to have some sort of inferiority complex and the other one gave the impression of neighborly, friendly accessibility.  But she turned on me just like a rabid pet.  Like a puppy you had loved from years that maybe was bitten by a skunk, contracted rabies, and then turned on you.  Both of them I eventually cut completely off from me and I have to say at this point I’m much better off.

But occasionally my thoughts still turn to them from time to time.  Its one of those situations where there really is no turning back and I’m fine with that.  On the one hand I fell sort of bad for one sister.  She seems to have always felt, at least as far as I could see, that the world was against her.  After my discovery of the secret craziness of her sister, I’ve decided that her inferiority probably arises from a lifetime of belittlement and maybe just plain meanness from her sister.  But, unfortunately there is no going back for me.  When your only interactions with someone is trying to encourage or comfort them you become tired.  Sometimes I might need a little encouragement myself.

That brings me to the hidden crazy.  Maybe crazy is too harsh of a word.  Vindictive, hateful, malignant.  Those may be more accurate words from me.  Once they turn on you, they turn 180 degrees.  Once they sense you have put a little distance between yourself and them, they bombard you with calls, emails, or maybe texts.  When they don’t get the answers they want or feel they deserve that’s when they crazy becomes evident.  They text, email, or however they can reach you to tell  you crazy stories for some reason.  That part I haven’t really figured out yet.  Stories that for some reason they feel will make you feel ashamed of your treatment of them.  Then finally, because you have remained silent, they cease to bother you and move on.

But these stories they tell are blatant lies.  Crazy, silly lies.  You can’t hardly believe that they would think you are dumb enough to believe any of it.  I could share some of this in detail.  But I’ve decided to keep that to myself.  But I have saved all correspondence.  A bit of advice, if you’re angry or upset with someone don’t send emails, texts, or letters.  These can be used to prove your temporary insanity if need be.

It may take me awhile to make a decision.  But once I’ve made a decision, its mine.  I own it and I stick with it.  Even if we were somehow able to iron all of this past “stuff” out, I would still keep my distance.  I wish ill for no one.  (Except maybe the thief.) BUT, once the damage is done, there is no going back.  I’m sure they would have their own tale to tell and that’s perfectly understandable.

But I do not care for controversy and bickering.  I avoid stress as much as possible.  There is another person that I avoided for some time.  It was a little hard, because we worked together.  I unfriended her and blocked her on Facebook.  We are on somewhat good terms now.  When you see someone daily its worth the effort to be little lenient.  But I won’t make the mistake of being her friend.  I like to think I learn and retain more information as I get older.  So that bridge is burned.

But I keep my eye open for crazy now.  Sometimes its hard to see.  But if you are quiet, listen, and pay attention sometimes you can see it out of the corner of your eye.  Just beware and listen to your heart or it may just jump up and bite you right in the ass.

The week my grandmother passed away

My maternal grandmother, Ma as we called her, was the sweetest, most giving woman.   She was an only child, who married a man eleven years older than herself, and then had thirteen children of her own.  As a mother she was probably over whelmed.  But as a grandmother she was perfection.  She had very little, but gave all she had.  She cherished each grandchild and each grandchild cherished her.

She gave out hugs and kisses abundantly.  If you needed something, anything at all, she would sit and think and think and fret and fret until she figured out a way.  She wasn’t stingy with praise or encouragement.  I can still see her smiling face in my mind.  I can hear her voice speak my name.

When visiting, her first question was always “Are you hungry?”  She made her own bread.  To this day all of her grandchildren will tell you about her bread.  After my grandfather passed away and as she grew older she moved into an assisted living apartment.  I would sometimes visit her for lunch.  My favorite menu was homemade hamburgers on homemade buns and french fries.  These hamburgers did not always have all the trimmings, but they always featured mustard and Velveeta cheese.  She would fry the potatoes for me, because she knew I liked them.  Once over lunch, I just mentioned how I liked McDonald’s shoestring potatoes.  When I went over there for lunch the next time, she had painstakingly cut the french fries into slender pieces.  That’s just the way she was.

I have lots of stories I could tell about my grandmother, but the last event she participated in was the week of her death.  She didn’t have a lot of major medical problems.  Just the usual stuff that occurs as you age.  She began to get frail and she knew that her time was near.  They brought in a hospital bed for her.  I remember stopping by there one morning that week and she said to me while sitting on the bed, “This is the dumbest thing ever!”  she slapped the bed with her hand, “Just a total waste of money.”  That week she also got to where she couldn’t hear at all.  We had to scream at the top of our lungs for her to hear us.  I thought that maybe something was wrong with her hearing aid.  So I offered to take it to the hearing aid place and have them look at it, maybe it needed to be cleaned.  Reluctantly she handed it to me, (she was afraid I was going to spend money on it) and she told me “Don’t let them sell you a pack of batteries.  I won’t be here long enough to use them.”  She told me “I’m just ready to go.  I’m tired.”

While sitting with her that morning she also told me “Don’t let those girls” (meaning her daughters) “spend any money on buying a dress to bury me in.  I’ve got that blue dress in my closet and it will be just fine.”  She had this blue dress that she had had for a very long time.  I think she wore it to every graduation, wedding, or special occasion for several years.  She was adamant about being buried in that dress.

Eventually that week, as her body began to weaken she was taken by ambulance to the hospital.  I was told by someone that they were waiting at the hospital when the ambulance arrived.  As the doors opened and they began to move her into the hospital, she was smiling and laughing as were the EMTs.  Of course we all gathered at the hospital, like a band of gypsy’s, we took over that waiting room.   That night as her children gathered around her bed, they held hands and someone was chosen to pray for her.  But since she couldn’t hear, she didn’t know someone else was going to pray, so she just started praying firmly and loudly.  She prayed not for herself, but for her children, her grandchildren, and a multitude of others.  She prayed that God would comfort us.  She prayed that her family would remain close and take care of each other.

She took pleasure those few days in the hospital, saying her goodbyes.  Seeing some that she hadn’t seen in awhile.  She told every one that she was ready.  “I’m on my way!” she would say.  When she did close her eyes for the last time, even her doctor was crying.  He told my mother he had heard of “dying grace”, but this was the first time he had witnessed it.

Our family is so large that during visitation at the funeral home, they had to move her to the chapel to accommodate us all.  I know it bothered some of my aunts that her casket was opened.  She had stated in the past that she didn’t want people walking by peering down at her.  But funerals are for the living and I’m thankful I got to lay my eyes on her one more time.  That wasn’t the only wish we disobeyed.  Her daughters bought the most beautiful dress for her.  Yes she would have been angry that they had spent the money.  But she would have been so proud.  Proud of us all.

More than just the usual gossip

We’ve all run across them.  Sometimes we stumble upon them by accident.  Sometimes they turn out to be long time acquaintances or even family members.  Sometimes they’re co-workers or maybe a friend of a friend.  They can be either male or female.  Sometimes we look in the mirror and find them.  I’m talking about busy bodies, gossips, and drama queens.

It’s easy to get sucked into their vortex and be swept away in a rolling tide of emotions.  At first you may listen with a compassionate heart.  You may commiserate with their “troubles.”  Then before you know it, the gossip starts to seep in.  You’re “learning” things about people that you would never expect.  They tell stories of all kinds, about all kinds of people.  But you don’t know if they are true stories or even how this person has any knowledge.  But you don’t say anything.  You don’t stop the constant chatter.  The conversations always start off innocent enough, yet somehow they always turn towards the behavior or attitude of someone else.  Yet you sit and listen.  Nodding your head in virtual agreement of what is coming out of this person’s mouth.

In your head you know that this is wrong.  You know this person is proving themself to be a trouble maker.  So you begin to distance yourself, just a bit.  But you remain passive when confronted again with the gossip.  Then this person begins to notice that you’ve distanced yourself from them.  They confront you like you owe them an explanation and maybe you feel like you do.  So you tell them, not in an angry way, but in a matter of fact way, that you are done.  At first they try to make you feel guilty by telling you lies about themself’s and their life.  But you aren’t sympathetic to their tall tales.  You don’t allow yourself to get sucked back in.

You can’t change people.  If a person is basically an unhappy person and only finds contentment in belittling or stirring up stuff with others then there is nothing you can do for them.  Sitting and listening to there problems and tales of others just justifies their feelings in their own minds.  We feed them by listening to them.  They find contentment and validation in the apperance of our “compassion” for them.  But really we just don’t want to rock the boat.

Sometimes I think back to how much trouble I would have stayed out of if it wasn’t for the fact that I just didn’t want to rock the boat.  I didn’t want to challenge someone.  I just let it go in one ear and out the other.  I may be a slow learner, but I hope that in the future when confronted with gossip or just bad mouthing, I have the ability to say something to stop it, rather than just nodding my head and listening.

We all have a tendency to gossip and whisper.  I think that’s human nature.  None of us are perfect.  But there is a type of person out there who we need to be wary of.  They are basically evil, angry individuals.  They seek their own fulfillment in the misery of others.  They put on a mask of friendliness and fellowship.  But their heart is black and their intention is wickedness.

Just some random thoughts

1. Sometimes everyone feels a little left out.
2. Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield is actually a fact.
3. Prices are not falling at Walmart.
4. Its good to be quiet sometimes and make people wonder if there’s something going on with you.
5. Be careful in what you say and what you do.  Someone is always watching and they don’t always have your best interests in mind.
6. Don’t always have the answers.  Sometimes its good to say “I don’t know” even when you do.
7. Read labels
8. Drink wine
9. Read a book
10. Create something
11. Make a new friend
12. Hug freely
13. Recycle when you can
14. Tell your grandchildren about your grandparents.
15. Its okay to be a little weird
16. Enjoy time by yourself
17. Have breakfast for supper
18. Carry your camera everywhere you go (now your cell phone)
19. Engage in a random act of kindness.  ie:  pay for the person behind you in the drive thru lane.
20. Make a To-Do List and mark it off as you finish items.  It will give you a sense of accomplishments
21. Set goals
22. Spend a day in your pajamas
23. Avoid the drama when at all possible
24. Sit down and have a serious conversation with a child
25. Bring breakfast to work for everyone
26. Listen to that little voice inside your head
27. Call you mother/father
28. Keep a journal
29. Pay attention
30. Don’t listen to gossip, don’t even pretend to be listening.  Nip it, nip it in the bud
31. Give up all forms of soda as a daily drink.  Save it as an occasional treat
32. Save for a rainy day
33. Make your bed every morning.
34. Get a massage and a facial
35. Strive to be healthy and not skinny or perfect
36. Go to the zoo
37. Bake something and take it to your neighbor
38. Plant flowers
39. Speak the truth if asked
40. Vote
41. Try to be more tolerant
42. Change your radio station occasionally
43. Don’t follow the crowd

But mainly, don’t worry, be happy.  The things you are concerned with today will be forgotten in a year.

Self Censorship

There’s nothing like self censorship.  I’ve had a lot of thoughts, opinions, and memories rolling around in my mind the last several weeks.  But I’ve stopped myself from putting those thoughts down in black and white for fear of someone taking offense to them or even taking them out of context and twisting my words around into something I didn’t mean.

Sometimes my opinions don’t always roll along the same track as the outspoken majority.  I say outspoken only because when I have conversations face to face with people I find that there are many more out there that think like I do.  But regardless of whether people agree or disagree I am entitled to my opinion, my thoughts, and my memories.

Like everyone else on the planet I have my own thoughts and opinions.  Sometimes they are in line with the majority and sometimes they’re not.  Sometimes they are off the wall and way out in left field.  But they are mine and I’m entitled to them.  I take pleasure in writing about my thoughts and opinions in this blog.  Sometimes I have something I feel like I need to share and this is how I do it.  You don’t have to agree or even like it.  That’s okay.  Everyone has their own opinions and are without a doubt entitled to them.  They also have a right to express it as well.  But arguing with me about it is senseless.  I’m not talking about an adult discussion of differences.  I’m talking about calling me or anyone else with an opinion different than your own uninformed, stupid, or whatever.  An opinion is an opinion.  Its not fact.  It neither right or wrong.  It just is.

There are things that have happened in my life that I would like to share.  Not because they are important or earth shattering.  Some are funny, some are sad, some happy, and some are just crazy.  But they are things that have happened that have caused me to become the person that I am today.

There are things that have happened within my great big extended family that I haven’t discussed.  I censored myself by telling myself that I shouldn’t step on any toes.  I shouldn’t drag that back up.  I should let that go.  I really just didn’t want to “start” something.  But I’ve decided that as far as family events, if I want to write about it I will.  I won’t argue with anyone about what I’ve written and I will try not to feel the need to defend myself.  It is what it is.  If someone has a different outlook or memory, let them write them down in their own way.  In the future I will ignore those who try to intimidate me and to silence me.  Like any family we have our bullies.  I enjoy my great big extended family.  I love to pass the day sitting with family at reunions and get togethers, reminiscing about past events and those who have passed on.  But when it comes right down to it, the only family I need is Doug.  I love all of my family.  I would feel a little empty and do feel a little empty when I lose contact with someone.  But one thing I’ve heard that is absolutely, 100% true is the say “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.”  So I would love to be “friend” as well as cousin, niece, sister, aunt.  But in reality it isn’t always possible.

What I’ve learned since I began this blog in March of last year is that it brings me satisfaction and a sense of  accomplishment.  I think everyone should put their own thoughts, memories, and ideas down in writing.  I know I wish my grandparents and even my great grandparents had left some kind of written diary for the future generations.  Think how enlightening it would be to read what my great grandparents thoughts and trials where when they settled the Oklahoma territory.  Or the thoughts of my other great grandfather as he traveled as a boy from Alabama to Texas because of a falling out with his family’s Baptist relatives.

I’ve received far more positive feedback than negative in the last year.  But I have lost a couple of friends and a few family members.  But looking back I think maybe the connections to those people weren’t so strong, positive, or uplifting.  Maybe the tie needed to be cut.  So I’ll start all over again, fresh.  Unfettered with the fear of stepping on toes or offending someone.  Its not that I’m about to embark on a series of stores or tales that are intentional mean spirited or offensive.  Its just that I have learned in the last year that there are people out there that will take offense or for some reason really believe that I am speaking directly about them.  The world is full of humorless people who carry a chip on their shoulder.

I’m starting anew with the knowledge that these things I write are mine.  I owe no apology to anyone.  I simply say to anyone that feels offended “Get a grip!!  The world doesn’t revolve around you.”  If I should write about a memory or event that involved you or your family, just remember, we all have different memories of the same event.  It doesn’t make mine any less valid than yours.  Its my memory and my opinion.  I’ll be happy to listen to your memory as well.

Where have all the journalist gone?

I remember when Fort Worth and Dallas each had two newspapers.  Now all we have are the Fort Worth Star Telegram and the Dallas Morning News.  I haven’t seen a Dallas newspaper in years, but I have recently picked up a Fort Worth Star Telegram and I have to say I’m disappointed.

The actual news portion of the paper continues to shrink and the price of the paper continues to go up.  There is very little news in the newspaper.  There is also very little news on the television.  Sure we have plenty of  “24 hours news stations”.  Most of these are not really news reporting journalistic style shows.  Rather, they are show after show of opinions.  The people on these shows, for the most part, aren’t reporting real information that they have uncovered or researched.  They are simply scheduling people who will either agree or disagree with their own slanted views.  Depending on whether they want “fireworks” or not depends upon whether the guest or other “journalist” agrees or disagrees with them.

There may be a few real journalist out there.  I’m just not sure where they are.  Maybe on our local televised news.  But even that I’m starting to wonder about.  I switched from one morning news station to another because the one I had been watching seemed to be more geared towards entertainment and promoting there own prime time line up for the evening.  But they all seem to get a little more “fluffier” all the time.  With the advent of social networking sites, more and more local stations are directing you to their Facebook or Twitter accounts to “give your opinion” or “tell us what you think”.

Everything seems to be based on sensationalism and the news story of the day, rather than real true news coverage.  I guess that’s because that is what the general population wants.  We seem to thrive on controversy and debates, rather than the desire to know hard facts.

I for one don’t need some talking head who’s main concern is hawking their wares and amassing an even larger fortune than they already have telling me what I should think about any particular outcome, issue, or result of anything.  Nor do I care what Bill from Burleson, or Carol from Cleburne has to comment on any thing in particular either.

Maybe its our own fault that the real art of journalism has declined in recent years.  Maybe we are no longer interested in the facts.  Maybe all we want is an outlet for our own frustrations and opinions.  Maybe we are seeking some kind of validation for our own discriminations and preceptions.

Embracing Ancestry.com and then running from it

I’ve always loved history, especially my own family history.  It’s sad that people’s stories get lost over time.  All of my grandparents are gone and I know that there are lots of stories that I never got to hear.  I lost my Dad in 1997.  I heard lots of his stories.  But when I lost him I also lost the connection to his past.  His parents and grandparents and their stories.  Some stories he told me.  But I know there were lots more because his history was important to him to.

A couple of months ago, I was so excited to find most of his paper work for the research he had done on his father’s side of the family.  I’ve searched and searched for them for years.  My Mom gave me some paper work about a year after he died, but it was just a partial record.  It wasn’t the album filled with stories and pictures.  But I believe what I have now is what I’ve been looking for.

I remember my Dad doing research from a fairly early age.  I remember his excitement over the genealogy area at the public library.  He sent off for books, he wrote letters, and talked to people on the telephone.  One summer when I was about six years old we took a trip to Alabama.

He took that side of his family tree all the way back to before the revolutionary war.  He hit a wall, because before the revolutionary war you could come into the country at just about any port.  No documentation.  But now we have Ancestry.com and instant access to a multitude of documentation and things.  Towards the end of 2010, I decided to try this site out and was impressed.  You can start off with very little information and before you know it you are generations back down your line.

I knew I had ancestors that had fought in both the revolutionary and civil war.  I also was told by my Dad that the great-great-grandfather that fought in the civil war did not own slaves.  He once told me “The Mitchells didn’t own slaves, they had children.”   Well after a little research, that grand father may not have had slaves, but just a bit further down the lines they did, at least that’s what I found upon first look.

I can’t even begin to explain to you the sadness that swept over me looking at a census that showed a list of property.  On this list of property was a list of slaves.  It wasn’t a huge list.  Maybe 15 to 20 people.  But people none the less.  So I deleted those connections all the way back to my great grandfather.  I had gotten to that point by simply looking at census data and date of births, place of births, etc.  Drawing upon my memory of names and places.  I wasn’t 100% sure that I had connected the right people to the tree.

There are way too many James Mitchells in the South.  So I think its time to pull out my Dad’s own research, visit a couple of cemeteries, and dive back in.  If it leads me down the same road, so be it.  After being away from the site for nearly a year, I think I’m ready delve back in and see where it takes me.

Losing my marbles!

At the end of December I bought a 2012 Kia Soul.  After driving it for three months, I have to say that I love it.  I drove a Kia for the previous 6 years and never had any problems.  But since I put about 600 miles per week on my car, I decided it was time for a new one.

This new Kia has a lot of features on it that I didn’t have on my previous car.  One being that it doesn’t have a spare tire.  I learned that most 2012 vehicles don’t have spare tires.  They had to meet certain mile per gallon specs and to lighten the weight, they removed the spare tire.  It comes with some kind of canister that is suppose to re-inflate the tire.  Of course this will never work if you have a blow out.  But to get around this they provide you with roadside service for 4 years or so many miles.  I guess I will just have to pay better attention to my tires.  Although living 60 miles from my place of employment, we always pay attention to the tires anyways.

I love my sound system.  Along with the regular am/fm radio, I also have satellite, an input for my ipod, and a usb connection.  So music or talk, however I want.  The satellite was free for 3 months.  I’ve decided to keep it.  I enjoy it and it really isn’t that expensive.  Plus its nice on my drive.  So when it comes to entertainment in the Kia Soul, I do have choices.

The steering wheel has a lot of buttons on it.  On the left it has buttons to control the radio, the volume, the station, the mode.  I never use those buttons.  I forget that they are even there.  I guess after driving for 34 years, I’m just use to reaching with my right hand to change the radio settings.

On the right side of the steering wheel is the cruise control.  I didn’t have cruise control in my last car and I really missed it.  Driving over an hour in the morning and then again in the afternoon is hard without cruise control, especially between Springtown and my home.  There is very little traffic and it’s just easier with cruise control.  What I found is that by the end of the week, when I’m tired and worn out, I would look down at my speed.  I would be doing like 50 in a 70.  I was just too tired to keep the pedal to the metal.

But the feature that I love the most by far is the Bluetooth.  I love love love the Bluetooth.  My phone connects automatically when I turn on the vehicle.  Its voice activated.  So I simply say a command and it dials.  When my phone rings, the stereo goes mute and the phone rings through my speakers.  If the person calling is in my list of contacts it shows their name on the radio display.  No more phone to my ear, no more silly thing hanging from my ear.  (I really hate those ear things!!)

When I use this feature, most of the time I simply push the Bluetooth button and say “Redial”.  It redials the last number, which is usually Doug.  Last Friday on my way home I pushed the button I said “recall”.  The car told me “Sorry, please say a command.”  Again I said “recall”.  The car responded “Sorry, I can’t understand the command.  Please say again or say help.”  Louder and more frustrated I said “RECALL!!!  The car’s Bluetooth responded “Sorry, please try again.”  The radio came back on letting me know the Bluetooth had given up on me.  Then I remembered “Redial”.

Maybe I’m just getting old.  But I get really tired come Fridays.  Occasionally I’m embarrassed that I am, at times, so easily confused.  Friday night I stepped out the back door and thought “What in the world is wrong with that cow!?!?!?  Why is it mooing so long, like it’s in some sort of trouble!!”  Just as I start to run towards the pasture to find out what’s wrong, I realize it’s the sound of a neighbor using a chainsaw.  Saturday I searched and searched for the bottom sheet for the set, only to realize that I had already put it on the bed.  What a goof ball I am.  But I do make myself laugh.

It scares me just a little bit…..

In a world where children still go hungry at night, people are out of jobs, American soldiers are still dying on foreign soil, and corporations are still running the show, I find it sombering that in the Spring of the year 2012 we are talking about restricting women’s birth control.  Its worrisome to me.  Maybe we should go back to when women were considered chattel, a piece of property.  Something to be seen and not heard.

August 26, 1920, less than a hundred years ago women were “given” the right to vote.  During World War I, women began working in factories and supporting the war in others ways.  It was after World War I that a group of women took the time to work towards political equality.  Men still “controlled” their women at that time.  I remember my grandmother saying regarding my grandfather “He may tell me who to vote for, but he doesn’t go with me into the voting booth.”

But it seems like every day I hear about another assault on women’s right to contraception.  First they want to do away with Planned Parenthood, one of the easiest places for low income women to get birth control.  I know, because at one time I was one of those low income women.  Now in Arizona they want to pass a law that will allow an employer who offers health insurance to come into my private life and to decide, using their own religious beliefs, whether I should have them or not.  In other words, if I am using them for contraception and not for “medical reasons”, and their own religious beliefs don’t allow for contraception use I should not be allowed to use them for that purpose through my health insurance provided by that employer.

My health insurance is a business expense to my employer.  He doesn’t pay 100% of my monthly coverage and pays 0% of the family, he doesn’t pay my co-pays.  What about the HIPAA laws?  What right does my employer have sticking his nose into my medical care?  The EEOC ruled in the year 2000 that if an employer’s insurance offers preventative care for men that they have to provide preventative care for women as well.  Why is that controversal and even up for debate?  It seems simple enough to me.

I have known for some time that the government wants to be in the bedrooms of my gay friends to dictate what goes on there and now they are wanting into my own bedroom.  Its like the poem from Martin Niemöller, “First they came for the Socialists…”  Yes they are here, they have arrived.

SPEAK UP!!  Take an active part.  This is a morality issue and my belief is that morality can not be legislated.  What is moral to one person is not the same to another.  Alcohol consumption, dancing, women cutting their hair, women wearing pants, women aren’t allowed to speak from the pulpit, consumption of meat, consumption of pork, musical instruments in the church, musical instruments not in the church, the sabbath on Saturday, working on Sunday, and the list goes on and on.  If your religious belief is that sex is only about procreation and is not about a way to express your sexuality and love for another human being, that’s certainly well within your rights.  But your religious beliefs and morality have nothing to do with what goes on in my bedroom.  I believe this to be an attack on women’s right in the most basic way.

“Freedom lies in being bold.” – Robert Frost

I leave you with a couple of links Whose freedom on contraception? and Proposed AZ Law

and a song that was banned from radio when it was released: